Christmas Fruit Cake
Ingredients
| 1 cup water
| 1 cup butter
| 4 large eggs
| 1 bottle bourbon
|
| 8oz. mixed nuts
| 1 tsp. salt
| juice of 1 lemon
|
| 1 cup brown sugar
| 2 cups dried fruit
| 1 tsp baking powder
|
Method
Sample the bourbon to check quality.
Take a large bowl.
Re-sample the bourbon to ensure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large
fluffy bowl.
Add one tsp sugar and beat again.
Make sure the bourbon is still okay. Cry another tup.
Turn on the mixerer.
Break two eggs and add to the bowl, chuck in the dried fruit.
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the
beaterers, pry it loos with a drewscriver.
Sample the bourbon to check for tonsiscency.
Next sift two cups of salt, or something. Who cares?
Check the bourbon.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to
beat off the turnerer. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the
bourbon again and go to bed.
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